When you follow Jesus, the need around you will always be greater than what you have to give. If you look at that need awhile, you will feel overwhelmed. You will want to send the people away to find nourishment elsewhere.
“Why?” Jesus will say. “There is no need. You feed them.” And you will open your lunchbox and see your meager meal, and you’ll say, “Only this. This is all I have.”
“Great! Bring it to Me.” Jesus will take your small provisions and somehow in His hands it will become enough and then more than enough, until you are gathering up the remains into heaping baskets.
And then He will send you off in a boat on a tossing sea, and the waves will come against you. You will think, only this small boat. This is all I have. But remember that one time when you thought you had only a boat in a raging storm? You had Jesus. “Yes, but where is Jesus now? He left me here!”
Here He comes. He’s walking to you right on top of those rough waves like they are stones under His feet. He’s smiling. “It’s Me! Stop being afraid.” (How many times has He said that to you?)
Well, you just won’t be able to help it. There’s Jesus, standing on the water. “If it’s really You, ask me to come out to You.” Cheeky.
But Jesus isn’t about to deny a request like that. He’s always about you coming to Him. “Come on!” With a grin, He will stretch out a hand.
Now you’ve done it. But you’re watching His face, and you see He sees you can do it. Somehow your shaking legs take you over the side of that boat (which now seems like the safest place in the world), and then you’re doing it! You’re walking on the water. Jesus is laughing, enjoying the adventure.
Of course you will look down. Of course you will take your eyes off the object of your faith and fasten on the object of your fear. Then you’re sinking fast, ice-cold fingers grabbing at you to pull you under. “Save me!” And He’s got you. He’s pulling you up and into the boat.
I’m sorry, you want to say. I have only this little faith.
“Why did you doubt?” Jesus will be looking at you, maybe a little sadly. You were never in danger, but you missed the adventure. He might be thinking to another night in the near future, a night when you will claim your faith will follow Him to death. You’ll jump from the boat, all right. You’ll follow. But the storm this time will be personal. And it won’t seem like Jesus will be able to save you. You’ll take your eyes off his face and look at your fear, and you’ll sink. You’ll flounder in a dark sea for a long time.
But Jesus will come at last. His strong grip will pull you up and out of your drowning and put you on the solid ground again, and He will see you staring at all that shame and fear. “Only this. This is all I have.”
“Bring it to Me.” He will take your not-enough and multiply it. “Keep your eyes on Me.” He will hold you as you walk across your raging fears and follow Him to the other side, where people are waiting to receive Him. “Let’s go.”
When you have only this, and it’s not enough, He multiplies it if you let Him. He stretches out His hand and invites you into the adventure.